FFS Friday – cuttlebug edition

Yesterday morning I was thinking that nothing had happened that had even remotely made me want to think ‘FFS’. I thought I wouldn’t have a post for FFS Friday. 
I needn’t have worried.
I thought I’d have a nice relaxing evening doing some scrapbooking.
I got out one of the pages from my Work-in-Progress album that I’d started last week in scrapbooking class and had intended to finish when I got home, because I was sure there would be some alphabet stickers I could use for the title at home. There weren’t any that suited the page.
Never mind. This happens a lot. … slight FFS.
So I got out my Cuttlebug to cut out the letters. (If you’re not familiar with a Cuttlebug, it’s a bright green machine that you can cut (and emboss) by jamming the dies between two plates and winding them through the machine. Very high tech.)
I started to wind the first set through, when there was an enormous snapping sound and nothing happened. The plates were stuck and the rollers weren’t moving.  …. FFS.
Unsure of whether this was a terminal condition, or whether it could be easily fixed, I googled “broken Cuttlebug”. Nothing matched my problem, but a few people mentioned they had taken the end panels off to fix various problems.
OK, well that shouldn’t be too hard should it?  So I started to unscrew a few parts to try and get into the ends to see what was going on. Nothing I unscrewed seemed to help me get to where I needed to be. 
 I realised I didn’t have to unscrew anything. No. I could just slide a screwdriver in and clip the end panels off. … FFS.
This is what the inside of one end of a Cuttlebug looks like.
End panel #1
The small gear at the top fell off as I was opening the panel. Easy enough to put back on, but there was still rattling from somewhere else in the machine. So that wasn’t the problem.
Attempt to take the other end off. A screw and a washer fall out. This must be the problem. So all I have to do is remove the end panel, screw the screw back in and put the panel back on. Yay.
This is the end where the handle is, which had originally been attached with an Allen key. The end panel won’t come off without removing the handle. None of the Allen keys I have in my drawer will fit the handle. …. FFS.
You know how you always keep the Allen keys that come with things in case you ever need to deconstruct them? The one for the Cuttlebug was nowhere to be found. … FFS.
I had to go out to the shed in the cold and rummage through my disorganised tool box to find my set of Allen keys. None of them fit. … FFS.
Did I mention there is a lot of grease inside a Cutttlebug, which is now all over my hands and my desk. …. FFS.
Ok, so if I can manoeuvre the end panel out of the way, I can just get the circular screwdriver into the centre of the screw and screw it back in. Fiddly, but it can be done. But the screw doesn’t want to actually go in. It sits there, and if I turn the handle the rollers work, but how do I make it stay there? … FFS.
One little screw. One big problem.
Nothing seems to want to stay in place. I email the manufacturer for advice. I put the machine back together and turn the handle just to see what happens. The machine works. After I have sent the I-am-ever-so-slightly-annoyed email to the manufacturer. … FFS.
I cut out the letters I need and then realise I don’t feel like scrapbooking any more. I need a wine or two to relax and something to get the grease off my hands.  Not the relaxing evening I’d hoped for. …FFS.Then, as I was putting the machine back into the box after I’d finished, what did I find but the original Allen key I used to attach the handle. …FFS.


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